PROCRASTINATION

The easiest way to make the biggest deal out of the smallest deed is to procrastinate about it. You can count on me in this matter because I am the master of this sophisticated art. If you don’t believe me then consider this; I had a long day and I had started it without getting enough sleep in the first place. You may think that I am exaggerating, but I would have the power in me to delay all my work with the excuse that I am feeling sleepy and not only this, I can and will also NOT sleep all the time telling myself that I have work to do. Who in this whole blue and green planet of ours would procrastinate when it comes to shutting the eye!
I have a set of habits that can be classified as bad, very easily and the fact that makes them ‘habits’ is that I don’t particularly abhor them. You only change something when you try to change it and you only try to change it when you disapprove of it. There is no doubt that procrastinating is a very dangerous habit, and it is actually quite amazing that only by uttering the little sentences like yes, I will do it, LATER, you can delay something for forever.
Here is the root cause of the problem, of every problem in fact. There must be a realization and the understanding that a particular thing is wrong and it must be changed. What really is needed is a change of perspective; a particularly difficult task. What I and others like me should do is to register the fact that we must do something about the problem. You can know that something is not right and can take that knowledge to your grave without correcting it.

Just like other matters, In case of procrastination one must acknowledge that action is very important. Otherwise, you can keep doing what I have done all my life. I have procrastinated my assignments to deadlines, my sleep to deprivation, my appetite to loss, my weight to gain and my life to death. So act before it is too late.

 

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A Permanent Loss

When someone close to us dies, the immediate tears which escape from our eyes are fake tears. Those tears only symbolize our fears and our guesses of the future pain. Those are only the tears of apprehension.

The real tears come later and they may keep coming at different times throughout our lives; while drinking a cup of hot chocolate, at a notion uttered by a stranger, at witnessing the sweetness of other people’s relationship similar to the one you had with your dead one, mostly at night when sleep is reluctant to engulf you or at any other random and most ordinary time of your life.

The nostalgia, the thoughts, the tears and the feelings make those ordinary moments, extraordinary.

    Image

The initial rounds of those tears are mostly painful and saddening, but later they become a part of our lives and are even welcomed by us since we never really forget a person who we have truly loved.

The sense of loss always comes later, the initial reaction is only the fear of loss and being humans, we have a knack for living our misery much earlier and much later than its actual arrival.

 

Sadist

A conversation:

X: What drives you? 

By: Nothing drives me, but I drive a Volvo and I love it.

X:  May I presume from your reply that material things drive you?

Y: No my dear sir! That was only a feeble attempt at jest on my part. My apologies if I failed to amuse you.

X: Ha! Humor me all you want, but answer my question decently

Y: I don’t know why do you still expect any decency from me? *Sigh* let me try. I think my passions drive me. You know when I write I can taste bile and all the nerves in my body are electrified. I am so full of energy, especially when I am writing something good. What drives you by the way?

X: Oh it’s nothing!

Y: Come on! I told you now it’s your turn. Open up!

X: Suffering drives me.

Y: Sadist!

X: well! You asked for it.

 

 

The Expression Of Death

 

A few days ago, my uncle took me and my cousins to the zoo. A new section is added concerning the Dinosaurs and one of my cousins was extremely excited about it. I happened to be there and really did not have anything better to do that day so I joined them.

We had passed the boy while entering the zoo and it made my cousin all worked up and she begged my uncle to hold the large snake that the boy was holding. I, on the other hand, was extremely apprehensive and despite claiming to be an adventurous soul, was a bit shaken at the idea of going near that thing. It was not until when we were returning to our car that my cousin started with her wild idea again and my uncle relented that I noticed it; the expression.

It was an expression that cannot be forgotten easily. It was an expression of death; forced death; the death that you must live every day. Even more hurting was the fact that it was a permanent sort of expression. He must wear it all the time, all day long and at night too, even when he is sleeping and is unaware of the cruel life he lives, he must wear it. That expression was his life and his death. He earned his living through this expression. He accepted money from the customers and the passer by wearing this expression.

He was a ten or eleven year old boy. His job was to stand in the parking area of the local zoo, with the huge venomous looking snake curled around his neck. The people would take the snake from him and curl it around their necks wearing it like an expensive scarf and have their pictures taken. Unlike other people who earn money in similar ways, this little boy would not ask for a fixed amount of money for lending his snake to people to satisfy their sense of safe adventure. When asked how much would you take for it? He replied in a low voice that any amount would be acceptable and all this while wearing the same expression of death on his face.  

 We all had our pictures taken with the snake. The snake looked huge, but really it was only a poor thing and we all thought that he was drugged or something. Regardless of its apparent harmlessness, I found myself scared out of my wits when it was my turn, as a result of which my picture was not very exact. I was relieved when the little boy took it off me and then I saw his face again, the expression was still there. It was an expression of disinterest that made me feel that no matter what I will say to this kid, it will not make any difference to him or his life. He will have no desires and his expression will never change and will keep on portraying death as he lives it, every day, every second.

 I am still not sure what frightened me more; the snake or the expression.Image

2013

The year I tried, 

And even then cried.

The year I missed,
 And achieved,
The goals that I have,
Always dreamed.

The year in which,
 All was lost,
 I found myself,
At a minimal cost.

The year I shifted,
And stabilized!

 

 

The year my life,
Was not owned,
Yet I lived it,
Fully donned.

The year I laughed,
And survived.
The cruelty around,
Happily obliged.

This is the year,
 I am talking about,
In which I tried,
And smiled.