The Mirror Behind Me

I went to her once again,
To be counselled
and consoled,
I thought she would
This time
Help me
For I had put up
A good show

I covered the distance
of two miles
And met her with a smile

She looked at me
With her cold stare
And shrunken were
My insides

this moment
I had planned
For many years
From now
Yet I found myself
Unprepared
I admit with a bow!

Have you stopped doing it yet?
She asked and I was dazed
I could not bring myself to lie
Under that gruesome gaze

For the people
I still live and pretend
For them, I shall even die
I admitted with a sigh

I knew the battle
was lost again
For I heard her
Disappointed
Groan

Then go away
And never return
Until
the life’s true purpose,
Fully dawns on you

To dwell
Or at least depart from here
For a very
genuine purport

I walked away
from that image again
After years of toil
I failed again

My back was turned
I could not see
But swear to God
I heard the shriek
A triumphant laugh
At my failure arose
From that
Mirror behind me

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